21 Ways to Be Soft

thCA8HUPEW

Find what works for you. Here’s your guide.

1. Don’t put in the necessary work in order to separate yourself from the crowd. Not seeing immediate results? Just quit.

2. Be easily influenced and stick with those beliefs. Don’t question the status quo.

3. Be scared of the darkness and unknown. Turn on your nightlight. Stay inside. It’s too scary out there.

4. Lose perspective and forget how much better you have it than your ancestors…even your parents. Life is so hard! There is just too much to worry about.

5. Allow fear to have control over you. I can’t go and talk to her. What if she says no? What if she makes fun of me? What if I get embarrassed in front of my friends? We don’t want you to risk that. That may hurt your ego.

6. Doubt and negativity fills your mind. Just distract yourself. It will go away for a little. No need to pay attention to your Movie Screen.

7. Expect handouts. The world owes you something.

8. Avoid seeking help. You’ve got this! Why would you trust anyone else’s advice? Do it all yourself.

9. Have little patience with things. Immediate gratification is so much better. You need that dopamine.

10. Settle for mediocrity. Paving your own path sounds dangerous.

11. Constantly give in to distractions. What’s new on Facebook? – last login 2 minutes ago

12. Never fail. Don’t even think about that word. Avoid any situation where this may result.

13. No need to exercise now. You can do that tomorrow…

14. Debt becomes a significant part of your life. You need more things! More schooling. A better house. Some extra clothes. You need to impress some people.

15. Let others choose your path. This makes things easy. You don’t have to make any decisions for yourself.

16. Don’t use your pain and failures as fuel. Just let it brew inside. It will never get out.

17. Always be moving fast. You smell one rose, you’ve smelled them all.

18. Follow your mind over your heart at all times. I once heard this quote “the first principle is to not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.” Really? You’re too smart for that to apply to you, right. Don’t listen to them.

19. Complain about your current circumstances. There’s nothing you can do. Tell everyone how bad you have it and at least get some sympathy.

20. Move away from creating change. That’s too risky. Only deal with it when it’s forced upon you.

21. Don’t take the last shot. Always avoid putting your ass on the line. This way you never face the consequences. If something goes wrong, it’s on them.

All of this comes down to choice. Join the majority and be soft.

Or…

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Work Less, Play More

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You know when you look at a little kid without a care in the world? I want that.

You know why?

Because I had it. All of us did.

Growing up is a tricky thing. We graduate grade school, which is the end of the period where we had really no responsibility. Sure we had to do an hour or two of homework a week to pass our classes. But we chose the additional activities in our lives, whether it be sports, music, or dance. We then moved onto high school. Things got a little more serious. We had to pay a little more attention to our grades because they will affect which college we would get into. The sports and extracurricular activities became a little more important to us. We possibly had to get a side job to make a little extra money, since we were now driving and spending a little more. Once high school ended and college began, we noticed things became even more complicated.  We didn’t necessarily treat it this way, as this was probably one of the best periods of our lives. We met a ton of friends. We partied. We slept in till 12. But still, those grades mattered at the time. Our work on the side became more important to get by. We had more responsibility.

Now, being in the “real world”, things continue to move in that direction. More responsibility. Less social life.  More work.

I’ve noticed in myself that I have a very addictive personality. I tend to really fixate on different aspects of my life, which often consumes my attention much more than I would like it to. Many of these issues are not important in grand scheme of things. But still, they may affect my mood – sometimes for the whole day – without me understanding what’s going on. This fixation on things has led me to take things more seriously and try to fix them in a systematic way. I became more serious and calculated. I focused on these problems with more intensity than ever. My schooling conditioned me to do this. My personal life soon became a job in itself, beyond 9-5.

I’ve recently discovered that the more you focus on something, the more power that specific problem/issue has over you. It’s a very odd dynamic. I was noticing that many of the problems I was trying to overcome couldn’t be solved the way I was attacking it. The solution wasn’t more focus and problem solving. Instead, it was changing my attitude. 

As I mentioned, I find myself thinking too much about certain problems – and this has haunted me in the past. I don’t know if I will ever be able to simplify my wandering mind. But one thing I can change is how I approach the problem. My goal going forward is to treat the experience in front of me less like a job and more like an adventure. I can begin to treat going to the gym as a personal challenge instead of something I have to do to stay healthy. I can be compassionate and even laugh at my failures. Instead of attacking my fears and worries with more thinking (which compounds the effect), I can face them head on with a positive energy and loose, playful attitude. This will have no effect on the pride of my work or my work ethic. This is only a shift in attitude.

This will be a challenge it itself for me. But there’s no going back…I just made my decision.

Time to play.